Parabolic

Hi all, 

Title is one for the mathematicians amongst the readership but pretty much sums up the last few weeks.

 

In short, started off on a high, hit a dip (or three) and  on my way out now. 

In short #2 its the hormones. Ive been started on peak patches and the hormones are doing their thing now on the emotions front. Randomly feeling like I'm filling up and being a tad sensitive to things. Put it this way Supervet and DIY S.O.S are now firmly avoided. Id flood the house with tears if I watched them. So its finally got here. I've always been one with my emotions near the top of my character. Only buried by a flimsy veneer which if you hit it in the right place you went through it easily but like some new scientific material, if you hit it at the wrong angle it was like a shield of steel. Suspect rust has now set in lol. 

So if you could bear it in mind that I may be a tad sensitive so if I unexpectedly burst into tears then you know why. Talking of sensitive, I can confirm the hormones are having an effect elsewhere. I presume its a sign of growth but my word they can be sore at the end of a day. There is clearly growth or either I have put a lot of lockdown weight on in a very specific place. 

It is however difficult to tell on a day to day basis. I was out with a friend recently and he commented that I was getting a noticeable figure. Not seen me for a while so perhaps he could tell but I look in the mirror and just go hmmmm. 

Just had my 1/4 suppression jab and I had noticed before when that was wearing off growth (pain) slowed. Minute its back on though and you can feel the pain difference. Ive notably found also that the hair on my legs is also a lot slower to regrow. Weekly used to require a strimmer to trim it back but now it feels like it may take perhaps 2 more weeks to get to that point.Its definitely a lot slower not that I intend to leave it that long to test my theory.

Talking about lows, regular readers of this tome will be aware that my run ins with the less open minded in this world have been mild and very infrequent. Well I reached the hat trick this week when I was accosted verbally near Manchester Victoria by what can only be described as a female feral teenager. I wont repeat what was said. Now I am very much used to the quick scan up and down of the eyes when someone passes me. I also get gawping children but both just make me laugh inside as there is a somewhat innocence about it. I mean if a girl walked down the street with bright green hair, you would look wouldnt you. Even past times of the verbals being thrown at me I just laughed them off for the pathetic attempt that they were and didnt bat an eye. This time felt different. There was a close proximity which I havent had before (its been long distance in the past) and that felt like it intruded on me more. Perhaps the hormones also made me a bit more sensitive but I think I am most annoyed that I didnt have a witty comeback. Instead I just sarcastically smiled. I must work on my intellectual put downs. I say that deliberately because my experience is that those who have taken issue with my existence were obviously intellectually challenged. Not because they did what they did, but how they did it. They didnt know me, had never met me but particularly this time thought it was socially acceptable to confront a stranger in the street who was doing nothing to or affecting them. Its odd how some peoples heads are wired. Half an hour later the anger had passed but if anyone has any good comebacks please feel free to pass them on. 

On a more positive note as it is pride month, I have been back on the lecture circuit (I wish lol) and doing a few talks. All remotely of course as most physical meetings are still off. I have done talks to a hospice and legal press in the past week and have a planned talk with a international tax law firm at the end of the month. I really do enjoy doing these and hope to continue to spread the word. As was said to me, hearing a lived experience is so authentic. I was intending to walk with Bristol Pride early next month but thats been postponed so hopefully later in the year.

 

Manchester being August bank holiday weekend appears on (unless Boris defers again) so if anyone wants to join me watching the parade / partaking in a fair vat of alcohol then let me know. Even if you arent LGBT+ then the whole thing is an education and a spectacle and a great day out.

It wouldnt be a blog of mine without a fashion mention. I've come to the point now where certain rushed purchases to get to a usable wardrobe were indeed rushed. Im now turning them over and really focusing on what I want. One signature dress has been bought for a night out for my birthday (with friends locally) and an eye is being kept on others. I am definitely a dress girl and intend to get more of these. Some decent trousers are also wanted and shoes continue to be bought. A nice pair of summer sandals and yes hold the front page....wedges. Cheap in a sale so I thought I would give them another go. Still feels like I have two breeze blocks strung from my ankles but we will see. 

I have a hectic social schedule coming up. In short #3, a leavers lunch, two weekends away, a trip to that London, a birthday bash or three (details to follow in future blogs) and more importantly at the end of the summer, I start the search for surgery. 

I'll discuss that more next time. Until then stay safe but dont forget that life is for living. 

Take care

Amanda xx