Coming Into Focus.

Hadn't realised until reading back that I hadn't posted in a while. I've been happily vlogging over on YouTube and upped my Instagram usage.

Going forward this blog and those two accounts will be my main social media channels. I'm pushing myself on LinkedIn but the tone is slightly different. I'm finding I need different voices for different audiences. I've previously been active on Twitter but I'm pulling away from that.

It's increasingly toxic and unregulated. I don't need that so going forward it's a mechanism for following others rather than interaction.

I hope you have watched some of my vlogging and feel free to leave comments here and there. Feedback is essential.

So I mentioned before that travel is going to play a bigger part this year. I was mulling over a sunny break somewhere. Berlin for its wonder was bitterly cold so I need some unadulterated relaxation in the sun.   

I am not unknown to prevaricate. I can make a high level decision but tend to get to ingrained in the details. The irony is that this is only on a personal unimportant level. Anywhere else be it work or major decisions, I can have laser like focus and am able to evaluate big issues quickly and accurately. No idea why I can be like this but I'm finding post transition that I'm still like this but less so. Hopefully that will be a continuous upward curve.

So holiday no2 is booked. I'm off to Gran Canaria in June. A week all inclusive again in a LGBTQ friendly place. Not traditionally a beach person but I'm going to give it a bash.

The upside of this is I have to shop more summer stuff. First time I've had to buy a swimming costume and I'll need a beach towel and bag. I've got the big hat but more summer shoes needed!. I've done a video about this...

Shopping

I've also been busy with LGBTQ stuff as well. As a director / trustee of LCR Pride Foundation I was invited to Anfield for the Pride awards. As usual I said to our CEO if you need any help....

Well as I'm moving from the pre drinks area to the ceremony room, he hands me a card and says I'm presenting an award. LGBTQ Network award. Good one as I'm vice chair of my work Network so appropriate.

I'm sat in front of the stage and knew I was about half way down the list. I could watch others and get a feel for what was needed. Cue panic when some start making speeches.

Well I'm not unaccustomed to standing up in front of an audience. I've done advocacy as part of my job and talks about being trans but this was new. No one knew me. That oddly made it worse lol 

So my name is called and up I get.

I said a few things about how important my firms own LGBTQ Network was to me and my transition so this was somewhat appropriate for me to present this award.

It was a bit of a blur after that. Posing with the winners and enjoying the after partying. However looking back, despite the nerves it felt good. It felt like it was necessary. Not a case of wanting the limelight but more about the stage being my friend, my opportunity. 

I mentioned in my last blog that I felt change was coming. This felt like part of that process. Being part of something bigger, something important not just to me, but to Pride and to the wider community. I felt I had taken a big step.

I'm still unsure to where, in what direction or with what end result, but I know by being visible both in and around my community be that talking to others on the night or standing up for a 15 second speech is important. It's where I'm meant to be. I can do so much more than I thought I could.

I am going to push myself more in this direction and ride the waves wherever they take me. Be less indecisive on things that don't matter. Spend more time doing things more important to me and be with people who are important to me. People who want to share time with me and are proactive in doing so. That's my future.

I'm really going to enjoy the trip as much as the end destination. That's my philosophy when I travel and I am going to widen that scope to other things as well.

I sensed change. Change in this case looks very much like an adventure I want to be part of. I am buzzed about what this will entail. 

Feel free as always to be part of this journey by following me here or on any of the channels mentioned above.

Until next time, take care and why not think about what changes you could make. Be you and be positive.

Amanda xx