This is me.

I've really got to keep a better check on how often I do these. I've always been of the view that it's best to say something when I have something to say rather than churning rubbish out. However a month is a bit too long so I'll try and keep things more up to date.

It's been a busy few weeks from travelling in the UK, camping and generally not stopping.

During this period I've been doing a lot on social media notably YouTube so feel free to pop over there and check out @AmandaOutThere. You will also now find me on Threads which so far seems to be kinder than Muskworld. The latter I've put into cold storage so to speak. No more posts but until all people I follow migrate to Threads I'll still be dropping in occasionally. 

I'm getting increased traction on YouTube and whilst it's still just a hobby for now seeing over 250 views of a video is rather satisfying.

My next video should be about my recent trip to Blackpool which is in edit at the moment.

Seasoned readers will understand how important a place it was in helping me. So I try and get back there at least once a year and this year's has just gone.

It's recognised that "This is me" is a bit of an anthem for the LGBTQ+ community. Certainly when I first heard it in Blackpool some years ago it was profound and ever since I've always been emotional when hearing it.

Listen to the lyrics and you will understand why. However this weekend a club night finished with it and I felt different. I sang it loud and proud. No tears, no upset just pure bloody pride in whom I've become. Another moment of realisation.

I've always thought that transition was a journey. Yes there have been big milestones and sometimes the little things made a difference disproportionately to their scale. Yet it seemed to have no end 

I've had time to think differently now. My transition in terms of physically and on terms of general emotions has ended. I've entirely embraced, accepted and importantly adapted to who I was meant to be.

It may still be a journey or more like the continued adventures of but in terms of my identity, it's now fixed and established. 

The new adventures are more about my enjoyment of who I am but in particular continuing to fight for others in the LGBTQ+ community as best as I can. I will forever be your ally and champion.

It's rather prescient that I write this days before Liverpool Pride and notably my first as a trustee. If you see me say hello and it seems I will be making a speech on the day. I'm forming ideas in my head about what to say but I'd be lying even with my experience of public speaking that I won't be nervous. By far my biggest in person audience so wish me luck.

However it's important to me that I give something back and support my community. I've realised as a result of coming out how vital support can be and I'm not going to stop doing my bit. 

Next month I will be marking the passing of four years since my divorce and the same since seeing my kids. Three people never took to this change and it remains my biggest disappointment that it was my two kids and a friend of many years. I've always been of the view that you don't solve things without talking. But there has to be a desire to solve things. It seems that despite these three now being adults they have a lot to learn about compassion and empathy.

That said whilst the door is always open to a reconciliation for all I am focusing my time and efforts on things and notably people who want to be part of me and want to share time with me. I'm far from short of people or tasks in that respect. In particular the three have been more than replaced with closer relationships with existing friends and broader horizons where I've met new people. 

I do however remain baffled as to my lack of romantic approaches. Perhaps these new circles I'm moving in will present such opportunities.

I hope I'll see some of you at Pride in Liverpool this weekend. Say hi but most importantly be yourself and support others doing so 

Take care and be fabulous xx

Amanda

@AmandaOutThere

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