Reboot

I've been a firm believer that travel enlightens the soul. I've travelled a fair bit this year. 10 flights and three holidays as it stands.

Latest was last week in Malta. Why?. Well they are top of Europe's LGBTQ rankings and I had a good recommendation by a friend who had been there earlier in the year. He wasn't wrong.

This was my big holiday so boat pushed out. Business class each way and 5 star hotel. I could get used to this lol 

Flying into Malta from Munich I was thumbing through the in flight magazine and spotted that Valetta was hosting Euro Pride!. Pure coincidence but nice to have.

So I had a fantastic time. My YouTube channel will have full details on there  (@AmandaOutThere) so pop over, but time sitting by the roof top pool gives you time to think.

This year has been a journey of personal discovery. I started the year with my surgery settling down and I was determined to find out where I fitted in. 

I have thrown myself into myself if you get what I mean. 7 prides, involvement with my LGBTQ community in work and with LINK the insurance industry LGBTQ community has really given me an insight on what I can do.

I grew up shy and retiring. Yes there was a façade to hide that and hide who I was but in both senses that has gone. 

I'm so much more confident now about who I am. I'll remain humble and conscious of where I have come from but it is time.

Time to let loose. Time to really see where I can go. Time to see what I can do.

I've loved travelling this year. Berlin on my own, Gran Canaria with my Dad and the utterly amazing Malta again on my own.

I travel on my own as a result of necessity. I am fortunate in that I can travel when I want to where I want. I'd be happy with company but I'm not exactly fighting off companions to come with me. If I've called that wrong then let me know but I want to see the world and I'm going to do it regardless. Feel free to join the fun if you want. 

So I'll continue to explore the world and learn about different cultures and experience different places. Euro Pride was amazing. I felt a visceral expression of what it means to be LGBTQ in a culture other than my own. That was eye opening and defining. You think you have a handle on things and them something comes along and just adds multiple layers on top. Another experience to add to all the others but one I'm thankful for having.

I now crave those experiences. 

I feel liberated.

So where next. Travel wise Europe holds so much opportunity but I've a desire to see the orient. Sorry America but you are totally screwed up and I've done what I want over there. You don't want to recognise LGBTQ then you don't get my business.

That said I feel the fighter in me rising. Not agression or violence but standing up for what I believe in and who I am. I won't be cowered. Politics perhaps is calling or at least advocacy for my community. That's a challenge I'm up for now. Watch me...

Personally I'm entering a different phase. I think I've naively or resulting from historical issues, expected things to come to me but travelling alone liberates that expectation. It forces you to be direct and confront any doubts and fears.

So I'm going to hit things head on. Tackle my issues and instead of being coy or neutral I'm going to attack and explore. There will be pain and rejection but I'm going to use that as a learning experience, build myself foundations from it and use it as my support. 

I've sat back long enough. Time to take the bull by the horns. I'm free and ready. I'm so proud of who I am and how I've accepted that I needed to be me. 

The barriers are down. Time to explore and take some calculated risks. You don't know until you try 

I'm ready to do this all on my own. I'd love for you to join me. Let's see what we can all do together so if you fancy seeing the world, locally, regionally, nationally and globally give me a shout and let's see what damage we can do.

Be fun trying won't it.

Amanda xx

@AmandaOutThere.