Acceptance

First things first and trust me this will make sense later but pop over to my YouTube channel @AmandaOutThere and have a look at my LGBTQ and Travel videos. I'm currently editing my latest trip to Malta which was an epic trip and finished with Malta Pride.

Why did I go to Malta two years running...? Well Malta tops the European index for LGBTQ rights and has for the last 9 years. The UK used to be up there but currently languishes 16th. Russia unsurprisingly is bottom.

I feel safe there. I don't get stared at, my existence is not up for discussion and the people are amazing as is the culture and weather. I had a sing along with a drag queen from Doncaster. What isn't to like.

Closer to home emotionally and literally it's not the same. Yes I can be me and generally I don't get hassle but there are places I dare not go and I have a well tuned threat radar. So if you are thinking of or do vote reform or Tory then you are adding to this. Trust me when I say neither are LGBTQ friendly parties.

On a personal level I keep getting told how difficult it was and apparently is for some to accept who I am.  I admit not to understanding this at all. 

How does it affect you individually how someone else identifies or what their sexuality is. Remember folks the two are separate for example I am bisexual and transgender (The LGB without the T people really don't get that distinction). 

How does my transition affect you to the point where you are distressed over it? Do you have a problem with someone being their true self? Do you generally have problems with LGBTQ people or are you ok with them so long as they aren't close enough to be in your circle? Do you simply not understand?

Does the reader see where the problem lies? Is it with me?

I'll give you a clue....the questions above are subjective not objective. In other words if you can't accept the lifestyle or identity or sexuality that someone has, the problem isn't with them....it's a lot closer to home.

I've mentioned before, there have been a very very small group of people in my family and friends who didn't accept my transition. Some walked away, others speak to me through gritted teeth or out of some obligation.....yes I have spotted....my radar is very finely tuned to not just threat but also potential hostility....but the problem is them not me.

The good thing is 99.9% did accept me, accept people like me and generally don't give a monkeys about other people. I've also made so many new friends and acquaintances.

So the moral of the story is simple. It's you who has the problem. Stop fretting about what people will think about you knowing and being friends with me.... because I can guarantee that if they knew that you didn't want to know me because of my transition....they may well not want to know you. Bigotry is an unflattering character trait.

Fortunately education is the cure. You weren't born a bigot or against something...it's learned and can be unlearned.

So if you want to find out more let me know. I've got three talks booked already for November educating others and have done many to date. Also check out the Will Ferrell documentary with his best friend and her transition.

You might actually learn something about yourself as well as the subject matter.

Until then all I ask is be honest. If someone asks why you aren't speaking to me or don't want to know me, don't moan about how hard it is for you (trust me it was miles harder for me) just simply tell them you're a bigot. Saves a lot of time and faff.

I'll finish with my new anthem....it's lyrics resonate so much with my current mindset:

I'm unstoppable

I'm a Porsche with no brakes

I'm invincible

Yeah, I win every single game

I'm so powerful

I don't need batteries to play

I'm so confident

Yeah, I'm unstoppable today