Dysphoria

I have good days and bad days.

Days I look in the mirror and cry fake at the reflection. Other days it's good to be me and I think I'm pulling it off.

Therein lies gender dysphoria and all it's nuances.

Despite a generally liberal approach in this country, there are still norms that people expect. Men are tall, strong, dress in muted colours and are there to be relied up both physically and mentally 

This does no good for the mental health of men because frankly the vast majority don't live up to that and to be fair why should they.

Women are supposed to be the fairer sex, at ease with their emotions, dress effeminately, less physical than men.

All utter rubbish in all respects. 

Despite that I get judged constantly. Do I pass....i.e. meet those gender norms?

I'm tall, nothing I can do about it. I stand out because of that and my bright red hair....granted the latter is my choice but why do I worry so much about it.

I have an innate desire just to be me. Wear what I want, be who I want and avoiding criminality or being an idiot (latter not always possible)....do what I want ....and yet I feel a need to conform. 

How do we fix this as a society?

Firstly stop judging. So I might wear a fluffy pink jumper with jeans or like today I'm typing this on a train to a business meeting wearing a dark blue trouser suit (so complying with business norms there aren't I) and heels. My choice. Doesn't affect who I am as a person. 

Let people be themselves. Who are you to judge ...just leave me alone in my paranoia that thinks you are judging me all the time....you don't need to add to it.

Embrace individuality and expression. Again doesn't affect you at all.

If we do all this, I can assure you that the world will be a better place 

Until then I'll try and mix things up a bit. If it looks mad or kooky to you then I think I may have achieved something....

Amanda xx