Recognition.

I've tried in the 8 years since I started this blog to be regular and consistent in terms of how much I update and inform.

It's been I think 7 weeks since I last posted and my have things been busy. That said there hasn't been much of a clamour for the next installment has there lol.

In light of recent events (see last blog) I've thought long and hard about what next. Shock, upset and despair all crossed my mind. Emigration very much was considered. Dublin was favourite although Malta crosses my mind.

However If there is one thing I know is how I process major problems and issues mentally. I go through a step by step process.

It starts with panic, leads to catatrophising, then I break down the problem into composite parts and logically work out a solution verified with research. Anyone who says I overthink things.....you know me too well.

The outcome means I'm in fighting mode. I'm tackling issues head on. I'm very much in activist mindset.

I've always approached problems with a mentality that "no" is not part of my vocabulary. 99% of the time that's right as solutions can be found. Sometimes after the deepest of evaluation the desired outcome can't be found but even then compromise should be possible. It's rare that no means entirely no.

That said I have to act to protect my own position.

This is where recognition comes into things. 

There is something called a Gender Recognition Certificate. It in short is designed to entirely record your transition from a legal perspective.

Whilst there is discussion...imho misjudged and legally suspect discussion...around this topic....my best security can be reached by obtaining this 

It will in effect wipe my history in all bar a very few exceptions. Desperate times....

So by the end of this week I will have applied for it. Documents from the last five years have been collated and they are ready to be sent off.

Interesting quirk....my birth certificate was signed by a registrar by the surname "Hilton" roughly 45 years before I chose my new name. Bit spooky that as I'd never checked that until now....

Yet another challenge in what seems a never ending cycle of challenges.

However if you want a fight for my rights....bring it on.

That said it's been an incredibly stressful few months and my mental health has taken a battering.

Batteries are about to be recharged In a safe space right after Pride No 1 of this year.

Another recognition point in my journey....just need an award to top it....

Amanda xx