Recognition

When I wrote my last blog I considered bringing this story to a close. It's been four momentous years involving seismic change to me on a lot of fronts. I wasn't sure what story I had left to tell and more importantly if you the reader or the wider audience would remain interested. I had a sense of where now and was the journey over.

Yes there is the ongoing medical change but would people be interested when it's been done many times before. It would involve highly personal information but that hasn't stopped me in the past. I did feel that I had reached a point where I had integrated fully into society so the tale had reached a conclusion.

I then stumbled on the usual online crap about the LGBTQ community and the threat we apparently all are to society (end of the family unit etc etc) and I thought, no, as well as this being cathartic for me, I hope it's been educational and helped dispell preconceptions but importantly ridicule the frankly ridiculous theories and concepts circulating. We are not an ideology. We are real people.

To those that knew me well those four years ago, I can count on one hand those that knew the true me. I was no threat then and aren't now. So I won't stop yet. I'll continue to tell my story. My experience and continue I hope to educate and inform.

The integration into society has been an important part of my journey. In recent weeks however there have been some strange occurrences. 

With moving into my new home and area just before lockdown#1 I didn't really get the chance to get around my neighbourhood but have tried to make up for it recently. 

In the last week people at my doctor, Aldi (yes I shop there, it's close and a darn sight cheaper than Nisa for the basics) and my village bakery / sandwich shop have all commented that they hadn't seen me for a while and wondered if I was ok. Now this could just be a very friendly neighborhood and me integrating well. The cynical side of me thinks there aren't many 6ft transwomen in the area so perhaps I'm a tad more memorable. I hope the cynical me is wrong.

Even my chemist knows my name now although I am popping in every four weeks lol.

My social life continues to pick up from lockdown release. A great night out in Manchester followed by a drinking session with my dad the week after has helped. Having a pint with my dad in a gay bar in Liverpool was revelationary. Who would have thought.

This however poses a question I have been mulling over. I'm not one for sitting in at the weekend and my social circle isn't so big that I am busy every weekend as hoped. I live within 10 minutes walk from various bars and restaurants. Is it acceptable for me to go out on my own and enjoy the local community and it's social life. I've been mulling it over and welcome any views.

Finally the dating scene is very frustrating. It had been a while and I wasn't successful first time around that much. Second time around it seems worse. I seem to be attracting a certain type that doesn't suit my tastes. I remain hopeful but some variety would be nice.

I leave you with a return to the point made at the start. There appears a concerted effort to taint the LGBTQ community at the moment and create division. It won't work. We have the momentum and we aren't going back into the closet.

Take care and be as good as your conscience allows.

Amanda xx