Conundrum

Hi there.

Passed 23k page readings on this blog during February and settled down it seems to 350-450 views a month. Oddly get peaks outside of periods after recent new blogging that gets me paranoid someone is checking up on me in bulk. Ho hum, nothing to hide lol. 

So I've finally got my second surgical referral granted and the paperwork is through. This also covers GRC application but that is going to be next year. Not a priority as almost all my ID is in my name and I'm waiting for my passport to be changed over as we speak. Hopefully then I can get away this year for a break. It's much needed 

So to the title of this piece. I've mentioned before that a nice side effect of the hormone treatment is breast growth. Prior to hormones treatment I wore a fully shaped and weighted prosthesis. Sat comfortably against my then flat chest. As I started to grow, I downgraded in size so what you saw externally was 1/3rd natural rest prosthesis. 

I had a target in my mind of a C cup. Why? Well it seemed proportionate to my body shape and I didn't really want something huge there. 

I am now at the point where a C cup bra with my natural growth plus a B cup prosthesis is too much. It's causing pressure against my body and really pushing them up and backwards. The conundrum is what to do next.

I have some lingerie items where I can fill the cups naturally. Others there is still space. Sizing can be all over the place. However a sign of continuous growth is pain and they hurt every morning and are at times super sensitive. I suspect this growth hasn't ended as it can take up to three years of hormones to get to finality on growth and I'm only a 1/3rd there 

I see no point in investing in smaller lingerie or yet smaller prosthesis for what could be a short time. I've tried so called chicken fillets but they seem rather pointless. I'll just have to see how the growth goes. However my body confidence is so much stronger with my body changes. Lingerie shopping is much more fulfilling. Even ventured into Ann Summers!! Hope soon I might be properly measured. 

So as mentioned above I'm double signed off for surgery. In simple terms I just have to arrange it now. Simple eh but not many surgeon's in the UK so the search is underway. The end to all this is potentially in sight. Hopefully by the next time I blog I'll be able to get a timetable in place. Fingers crossed.

It remains a challenge being a Transwoman. Shopping at the weekend I lost sight of the amount of people who starred at me. You know that they are as when you catch them, they don't quite stop in time so for a fleeting second you see them and then they quickly look away embarrassed. I was always taught it was impolite to stare. Perhaps the "vibrant red" I dyed my hair means I stand out more ...hmmmm. was always going to be a challenge being my height but it can feel a tad intrusive and you get a little paranoid. Are people laughing at me or when you walk up to certain groups you tense waiting for a comment. That said some shop workers can make a difference and for the first time ever got stopped by a lady on the perfume counter in Boots. So shocked was I, I just mumbled no and scurried away.

So as we enter Spring, thoughts turn to pride season. It seems all are doing in person events so I expect to be busy both home and others a bit further afield. I'll keep you posted and feel free to tag along. 

Until next time, I'm still expanding phase two of the wardrobe. I'll leave you with a photo of the vibrant red hair..

Take care

Amanda xx