On the cusp

It's me again. Seems I go through peaks and troughs but I'm having a very busy time at the moment.

First thing is passport has turned up. My name and gender correct. Big thing this for me. Travel will be a new thing as me and to be honest I am a bit apprehensive about the same. However if there is anything I've learned from this journey it's don't be wary of just doing something. So started looking at a trip pre summer before I do a bigger one in the summer itself. Fancy somewhere not been before so let's see what I can find.

Secondly is I have my first appointment this week with my potential surgeon. Just a quick day trip to London needed. No idea what will be required or take place but ready for all eventualities. Hope that it will put me ready for the big day. 

All coming together it seems so hopefully will be finally me.

More boob news. Despite saying I wouldn't, I went out and bought a few B cup bras. Multi buy at Marks so worth a punt. They all fit fine. I'm not bursting them at the seems but it's a comfortable fit. I went sans prosthesis one day last week working from home just to get a feel for it all. Looking down was a surreal feeling. They are clearly noticeable but from my perspective seem just a little smaller than I thought. That said wearing my prosthesis seems to make them too big and it's getting uncomfortable. So per the title, I'm on the cusp of dumping my prosthesis. Based on the fact they are hurting every day now they are still growing so suspect it won't be long. 

Confidence will definitely come into it so I may do odd days here and there before finally discarding them. Ok I admit I can't stop just feeling them. It's really really something that my body is evolving this way and it's really helpful in reducing my disphoria although it's really refocusing down below so the sooner that's fixed the better.

Finally I've mentioned before about going to football and despite the odd incident it's been pretty good. However on Saturday I will be deliberately missing a game that I otherwise would have gone to. Why? Well the club in question has this season generated such bad publicity from misbehaving fans that I don't really want a day ruined. I am an easy target for some and don't need it. That said I will be tweeting my decision on Saturday morning highlighting this issue. It may seem a weak decision but I value my safety.

Anyhow hopefully when I next blog I might well know when this journey will all be coming to fruition.

In the meantime stay good..  well as well as you can be.

Amanda xx