Imposter

Week 8 of recovery has passed. 8 weeks. Wow that really has come around quickly. 

My recovery had been hindered by a stubborn area refusing to heel and general malaise of the physicality of surgery added to doing nothing during which the limited fitness I had wained. 

I was just over a week ago looking forward to returning to football and my social life as healing was very much improving.

Then along comes a winter bug that truly wipes me out. My reserves were low as it was and this just put the batteries well in the red.

As I write this I'm still coming out of it after a week or so. So full recovery is very much pushed back a couple of weeks but I'm very much healed now down below to the point that I've completely dumped any pads now as they were in effect used for any post surgical emissions. Not needed now.

I had hoped that absent of illness I could celebrate a bit of news this week. 

Those who know me well know that even aside from this blog I am vocal in highlighting my experience and challenges within my community. That may well be through talks, articles etc and even after doing quite a few in recent years as the title alludes, you do sometimes feel a victim of imposter syndrome.

I'm new to being the true me. It's not far off just five years since I admitted to myself that i had to be true to myself.

I've come a long way in that period both physically and in terms of being myself. 

So when you are asked your opinion or asked to talk you do think twice. Why me and what difference can I make.

I did just this last week whilst ill, a panel session for Aspiring Solicitors. Third year of being asked and past feedback has been excellent and yet you do wonder how you get asked lol. That's the irrationality of imposter syndrome.

I had made a conscious decision when I came out that I wouldn't just merge back into the background. I found a voice and one that needed to be heard.

I always felt that as well as doing the ad hoc stuff that I wanted to do something more substantial. 

If you don't follow me on social media you may have missed that just this week I was appointed as a Trustee / Director of Liverpool City Region Pride Foundation. I'd met the team over the summer and attended pride. I felt this was the fit for me to both channel that need to help and also to feel I'm paying something back. All voluntary so the day job continues as is. 

Early days but with Eurovision in Liverpool next year (I signed up way before we knew) I'm looking forward to the challenge and chance to raise the profile of my home city.

I suspect if you are local I may well be haranguing you nicely of course in the future to help. 

I hoped to celebrate this but physically I'm not up to it yet. Give me a few weeks and I'm sure I will be. That bottle of Tanquerry Sevilla gin from Barcelona needs opening!

2023 was already looking interesting. Just going to be that bit more so now.

I've got other things to finish the year off but I hope by the next missive I'll be fit enough to restart socialising.

I've got a lot to catch up with my true friends and family.

Until then take care xx

Amanda