Let's talk about...

Been an interesting period since I last wrote.

Firstly I'm trying to sort out a short break somewhere next month but traveling solo is a darn sight more expensive than not and also as you are on your own you need to think more about what you will be doing both daytime and evening. I'm also trying to avoid going back to somewhere I've been to.

Over on my YouTube channel I've picked up a couple of more subscribers which is welcome and I'd be grateful for more of course. The aforementioned holiday mularkey has delayed my next video but hopefully be out in a few days. 

To those of my generation the title may well cause you to remember a certain song which referenced .....sex!.

We as a nation can be very prudish and conservative when it comes to getting it on as the American vernacular might say. 

Why I'm unsure. We all either are doing it or want to and whoever you do it with providing it's consensual and legal then fill your boots I say 

My reason for mentioning it is I again using vernacular got it on recently for the first time as the new me. The consenting partner will remain anonymous as I may well be happy to talk about it but I wouldn't be so presumptuous that they would. I was also mulling it myself as to whether to mention it but I've not exactly been backwards in coming forwards here.

Like everything it's difficult not to have preconceptions of how it will feel or how I will react. My partner was unaware it was my first time which was deliberate from my perspective. Performance anxiety isn't fun for anyone. Yes they knew my history before you ask but the tell tale signs of the past have been well and truly erased and replaced.

Like my past experiences a considerate partner and mutual understanding really does make the whole shenanigans so much better and for a first time I've no complaints.

I've learnt a lot about me from this. There is certainly a different dynamic both mentally and physically. The operation is still bedding in so some thing's werent quite there but I've learnt a lot about my new bod and what is best for me.

Tentative steps yes but very much happy to be able to be me and free to express myself with a willing partner.

Two things I've deliberately avoided mentioning. Firstly their gender. I don't care, neither should you. My sexuality has always been fluid so who I meet and get intimate with is my concern and mine only. Don't make presumptions either way.

Secondly it was not with the intent of a new relationship. It was satisfying a need we both had. Nothing more than that. In that respect I consider I was more relaxed about it. Yes I'm open to a relationship but I'm also trying to enjoy myself. 

So that's another hurdle successfully completed. I of course will need to continue practicing to refine my technique lol 

Hopefully as time progresses and from reading about others in my position changes will be ongoing for a while yet.

Finally I only mention this in passing but it's been three years shortly since my first day as me. I've travelled a huge distance and couldn't have done it without the support I've had. From simply carrying on as was to more overt support.

Those that matter to me know who they are and I've thanked them often enough but for those who aren't on board you really are a miniscule minority. I would suggest some self reflection is needed as the problem appears to be closer to home. I pity you that your heart is filled with so much loathing and hate.

Hopefully by my next missive I might have booked a holiday....or not lol.

Take care xx

Amanda

@amandaoutthere.