Wow.

Sometimes it's worth giving an instant response to feelings and other times delay and consideration makes things clearer.

In this case the temptation for the former was overridden by my preference for the latter.

29th July will go down as a day to remember. Liverpool Pride and my first as trustee. 

I mentioned in my last blog that I expected to make a speech. I mean on these occasions I thought who listens to the speeches. Necessary but most are busy talking between themselves, checking their outfits and readying themselves for the march.

I drafted it a few days before ran it past my fellow trustees one of whom approved. Not exactly a ringing endorsement lol.

So I rock up to St Georges Hall plateau in front of the hall early on Saturday to start preparing. I'm always willing to dig in and do what is needed and setting up flag poles for the zones for the marchers took up most of the time as the attendees slowly began to assemble.

The press. Yeah I knew I might be asked to contribute. In my mind I thought naively reporters pad, shorthand and perhaps a line or two in the Echo. Got that wrong didn't I.

Text from the BBC. Can we interview live.....yes live....on BBC WORLDWIDE!! Now I've done public speaking before. Room of no more than 50 people. I know it's just a camera but close to 400m watch the BBC worldwide as I only found out later. 4 minutes I was told (eventually was one) but nerves went off on a different scale.

Those who know me probably either saw the rerun on BBC news every hour for the rest of the night including Clive Myrie on the 9 o'clock news introducing my segment. Add in a stint on Granada reports and I had some reach!. Even turned down a phone interview with the press association as the noise was too much.

So I thought I'd done my bit. Noooo. We didn't have a compare for the speeches. Would I do it?. At this point I'd have opened parliament I was buzzing that much.

Can't remember much of what I said. Tried the usual Hello Liverpool I can't hear you Hello Liverpool. Straight out of the presenters handbook. Did my speech. Got some cheers and paused in the right spaces. Do remember being asked to dance on the steps by a performer which was awkward. Probably as much for them as me lol 

Now id done my presenting at that point behind a lectern. Helps the nerves having something to cling onto. After the performer it had gone and I was on a free microphone. I later found out in front of 20000 people. So I winged it, introduced me choir and exited stage left. Id have dropped the microphone but I'd probably had broken it!.

Wow what a buzz. No preparation. Never spoke to so many people before. Yet whilst I'm my biggest critic I think I did ok. Could I have done l better. Of course and now having done it once I think next time I'd be so much more confident.

Helped out marshal the march and had people thank me for my speech. That carried on throughout the day. Even had a selfie request. All random and all welcomed. Even cropped up over YouTube and TikTok in other peoples footage of the day.

Andy Warhol springs to mind at this point and the fleeting nature of fame lol.

Ended the day emotionally drained but buzzing. I've never in the past been comfortable in the spotlight. I've always liked to influence from the back or sidelines. Anonymously per se but confident in my individual opinion. 

Since coming out I've found a voice but also as being me properly I've found who I am and the shackles are off. It was a really empowering day and will really help me drive onwards.

That was Pride no 3 of the year. Warrington, St Helens and Liverpool ticked off. Two still to do one I'll be marching in and another just watching and enjoying. Fitting that's how I'll finish my Pride season off I think.

So Wow covers a lot of things. The day itself, my fleeting moments of fame and generally how much I have changed as a result of just being who I was supposed to be.

Being yourself isn't an option. It's essential.

Amanda xx

@AmandaOutThere.